LIVING THE LIFE OF DISTRACTION

DUNZIE: Tibetan word meaning distraction
QUESTION: What are we distracting ourselves from?

And now, a typical day in the life…

6:30am Alarm goes off. Listen to Wisconsin Public Radio.

7:00am Consume caffeine. Take shower

7:45am Check Facebook for significant status updates. Let world know I have nothing important to say.

7:55am Listen to morning financial report on 780 WBBM

8:20am Switch to Mike and Mike for “quite insightful” sports update

8:30am Arrive at work. Log onto computer

8:35am Check Facebook for significant status updates. Add hilarious comments. Play Mafia Wars.

9:00am Walk to cafeteria for more caffeine

9:11am God bless their souls

9:20am Intranet portals…must concentrate

10:35am Annoyed by office chatter. Embrace IPOD.

10:40am Intranet portals! Must Concentrate!

11:05am Check lunch menu

11:07am Discuss lunch menu with fellow co-workers

11:09am Check Google e-mail for personal messages

11:15am Intranet portals, yes, yes, concentrate

11:50am Check Facebook for significant status updates. Add hilarious comments. Play Mafia Wars.

12:00pm Lunch in cafeteria. Discuss “lame-ass” menu.

12:30pm Hear updates on marriages beginning, marriages ending, and what's on TV later that night

1:10pm Update current Facebook status with UNBELIEVABLE idea thought up at lunch

1:11pm Laugh at Facebook responses from those who are ALWAYS online

1:15pm Oh yeah, Intranet portals

1:20pm Check again for additional responses to recent Facebook status update

1:21am Heavy sigh because the one person you really want to respond still has not

1:30pm Attend actual status meeting on Intranet portals

2:00pm Casually stroll by desk of lady who always has chocolate

2:11pm Crap! Remember to check voice mail.

2:15pm Return call from mom. Listen to reports that “your father” is driving her insane.

2:35pm Man oh man, Intranet portals again.

3:33pm Get the BEST idea for a blog post EVER. Write first draft.

4:05pm Intranet portals, gasp, still there

4:23pm Re-write BEST blog post ever

4:47 pm Listen to complaints from “that guy” who stops by your cubicle at the SAME time EVERYDAY to give you a DETAILED rundown of EVERYTHING you already know!

4:55pm Publish BEST blog post ever

4:57pm Re-read blog post and decide it could have been better

5:05pm Check for Facebook hilarity. Play Mafia Wars.

5:12pm Send instant message to the person sitting right next to you because that is just TOO far away and the caffeine has worn off hours ago

5:25pm Last Facebook check before 30 minute “blackout” period in car

5:37pm Complain that they never play good songs on the radio

5:41pm Jam to AC/DC on the LOOP

5:49pm Jam to Def Leppard on 97.1 The Drive

5:52pm Jam to Blue Oyster Cult on the pride of Waukegan’s WXLC

6:05pm Arrive home. Kiss wife. Hug dogs. Turn on TV.

6:09pm Check Facebook. Try once more to entertain friends with new hilarious status update.

6:10pm “Ice” people on Mafia Wars

6:14pm Make martini

6:20pm Begin flipping through TV channels

7:18pm Give up on TV. Make soup.

7:34pm Kiss wife

7:35pm Pet jealous dogs

8:07pm Call my dad

8:07:30pm Make second, much STRONGER martini

8:07:37pm Wife suggests I breath, it’s just “your father”

8:19pm Last Facebook check before overnight “blackout” period

8:30pm Lay down in bed to read

8:33pm Give up on reading, hug dogs

9:11pm God bless their souls

9:30pm Watch Tom Skilling's weather on WGN TV

9:31pm Declare my LOVE for Tom Skilling

9:40pm Tom's forecast over. Write down as gospel.

10:01pm Kick dog off bed

10:02pm Welcome wife into bed

10:05pm Turn off light. Cuddle with wife

10:20pm Drift off to sleep

11:11pm Dream of computers, cameras, chickens, lawn mowers, 4-wheelers, goats, a Newfoundland, several mutts, a couple Alpacas, the vegetable garden, herbs, miniature cows, an art studio, 3 trucks, and a donkey named Caesar.

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"An Open Invitation" is a multi-part journey from the known into the unknown.

So, this is who you think you are?
Bam!!!
Oh look, who you thought you were is now shattered into a million tiny pieces.
Now what?