A night of fear. I was in college, 20 years old. I had been partying with friends and came back to one of their apartments to sleep it off. I crashed on the couch while my friend, Betsy, headed upstairs to her room. Later that night, her roommate came home. A man was with her. I never knew his name.

Like Betsy, the roommate headed upstairs. I was alone with a man in his 30's, long hair, beard, rough skin. I tried to ignore him. He looked at me with an odd smile and disappeared into the kitchen. Moments later he returned, sat himself down on the couch next to me, boxing me in. I wasn't going anywhere. I don't recall what he said. I only remember him putting ketchup on his hot dog. I'm a Chicago girl. Ketchup on a hot dog is just wrong.

I figured he'd leave when he finished eating. Wasn't he there for Betsy's room mate? He stayed for quite a while, keeping me in place. He must have felt my fear. He probably got off on it. When would the morning come?!

At some point he moved away. I grabbed my things and left the building. My dorm room was about a 20 minute walk. The sun was just starting to come up. I looked over my shoulder the entire way home, frightened he would follow. When I told Betsy about it later, she asked why I didn't just come upstairs and crawl in bed with her. Honestly, the thought never occurred to me. I only wanted to escape. I promised myself I would never let myself be trapped in a situation like that again. A few months later, I heard through the grapevine he had been arrested for date rape.

Each day, we make a choice how much we're going to let in. We can't protect ourselves from everything, nor should we. But everyone has a limit.

Lately, I'd become addicted to negativity. I embraced my "issues" and those of others. "Unsafe" became my safe place. If there isn't a problem, what am I supposed to do?

Time and again I'd expose my heart to the dangerous side of my emotions. I felt secure in my depression. I was strong in my anger. The only place I feared was fear. But you can only outrun that darkness for so long. The angel who tempts fate will eventually fall.

I've finally stumbled in the light of my friends. I'm broken open and the energy of my spirit pours out. No one can remain this open, lost in a stew of hidden fears and forgotten dreams. What will it take to close the gap?